I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
