i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
