dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
