fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
