Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
