I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize