38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
