hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
