I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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