Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize