Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
we're so committed to being not committed
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