Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
