and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
