Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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