last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
