I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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