you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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