We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
