so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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