No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
