SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
