Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
