I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
