Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
