I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
