So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
