no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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