Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
