so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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