How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
