sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
