Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
