Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize