Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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