I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
