I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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