Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Damn victory sex feels great
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
