Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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