when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
