Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize