the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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