i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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