i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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