You're completely useless in the revolution.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
