Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
