dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
soo... how was my night?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
