i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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