She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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