when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
