ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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