If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Bring me that man meat
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
