Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
