Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize