Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Non-Jews are for practice
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
