i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
