moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
