theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
