weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize