My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
