who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize