there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
