It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she told me i tasted like america
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
