First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
