Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
