her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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