Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
