yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize