Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
