I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
