Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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