we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize