last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
