have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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