How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
