4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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