I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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